Fantasies of an unusual kind :)

Well, I have this habit of landing in trouble. Primarily attributed to my habits of negligence and forgetfulness, particular situations have landed me in real tense situations at times. Thanks to a trip to Puri, that happens no more – not the trouble, but the tension :). In fact, forceful or otherwise, I’m quiet amazed at my ability to see things differently and very positively these days.

Take for example the current situation I have at hand. I received my offer letter from Schlumberger in my mailbox on the 21^st of May, 2008 (more than 50 days from today) which clearly instructed me to send the acceptance in 7 days. When a job pays you 36lpa, you’d expect people to respond real quickly, right? Well, I did not. I sent across my acceptance today! And two minutes after I hit the sent button, I got a call from the HR manager’s assistant of my company threatening me the job position may not be vacant now. Oops! Wasn’t that just supposed to be a formality. Guess not :P.

Well, so, here I am, seemingly in deep shit. I would have made a very bad name of myself in the firm’s HR now, may have delayed my joining (further still!) and worst of all, may have lost the position altogether! And here I am – suspended in mid air, waiting for the sun to rise tomorrow when I’ll hear from the HR manager herself the course of my destiny.

Though anxious, this time is unique. For quiet some time in life, thrill and fantasies have been missing. And though you see yourself on a footing very loose indeed, if you let your imagination loose, it sounds very exciting.

Say, for example, that I loose the job. I’m immediately back to the slab of income youths of my age find more realistic. Free from all obligations and long term planning, I can now imagine my life to be much more full of struggle and energy. I can hope to work in a stream of my choice, with people of my choice. I’d rent a small flat in Mumbai/Delhi, travel 1 hour to work and back each day, I’d be saving pennies wherever possible and relating more to how my friends are living each day. Above all, I’d be living closer to my mother for longer! The world seems so different, but it’s not a terribly bad situation after all :P.

Then, should I see this as a nightmare that hit my life and changed it forever, and burden myself with learning from the incidence and ensure it never happens again? And even curse my fate later for a lost opportunity in life! Or do I remain my real self, keep feeling it was sure a formality which was blown out of proportion, and assume God wanted to place me somewhere else??

Suggestions invited. And wishes requested too (I really don’t ‘wish’ to be kicked out of Schlumberger if one gets that impression reading this blog :D)…

Cheers to life!